“I won’t let you...”


These are the four words that I hate the most in birth work. If your provider starts throwing out this phrase often, then chances are you will not have the birth that you desire… It is YOUR body and YOUR birth. Too often in this society we are taught to blindly accept what we are told by doctors without question. No doctor, midwife, nurse, etc. is the be all end all. Maybe something you want during your birth might not be a good idea or maybe there is something that your provider is not able to do within the limitations of the hospital or birth center. But that should be a discussion between you both-not a blanket statement of what they will/will not allow you to do.

With my daughter, I initially sought out another OB to attempt my VBAC. Many OB’s were open to “allowing” me to  try a VBAC but they all came with parameters…

-“I will only let you go to 38 weeks and then we will induce labor.”

-“If I see your second baby is getting bigger than the first, then I will have to do a c-section.”

-“You will have to get a sonogram every week after 32 weeks so we can monitor the baby size.”

These types of responses are what led me to seeking out a midwife and having my daughter vaginally and un-medicated. My labor with her was so long, I truly think I would have ended up with another c-section in a hospital setting. People forget that they have ownership over their own body. Don’t let someone else just tell you what you can do with your own body. You are the one who has to live with the consequences of your actions with the rest of your life. Make sure any decisions or choices that you make are ones that you have researched and feel comfortable with, not that they are just something you accept because you were told to.